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WM_0021 :::::::::
An Evening to Remember
August 25, 2003
Enoch finally pokes his head out from
whatever cellar
he's been stuck in
to try to talk his hangover away
on a hot Sunday afternoon
apparently
he spent the evening with three of his old buddies
and was so appalled
by their behaviour
that he immediately thought of me
positing that even I wouldn't stoop to such levels
see
the boys, his and mine
are all old and married
maybe they get out once every six months
which is a fucking mistake on the part of their
wives
and various supplicants
for these hammerheads should be thoroughly washed
out
at least once a month
to prevent this kind of barn yard debacle
cause they minute they got loose
they started by crashing a co-worker's dinner
party
ended up throwing macaroni all over some lady's
kitchen
smashed a wall mirror
put a hole in the wall
defecated in the hot tub
and poured their drinks out behind her couch
when it was time to slink out the back door
whereby they hailed a limo in the middle of the
street
and bribed the driver
to drive them six blocks to the bar
and rip down 95th for an extra fifty bucks
while they tossed loonies out the sunroof
at hardworking street whores
then rolled up to the pub like big spenders
high fived the bouncers on the way in
leered professionally at each waitress in turn
and followed by devising a clever maneuver
so that when a woman passed
they would lean back and stick out their elbows
to cop a feel of the closest tit
as it rolled by
ran that gig for a while
taunted bitches to suck beer bottles like
they suck the cock
and walked round the bar
with their own cocks out
to see if they could get away with it
met new women and
told them flat out that
yer so fucking hot
if I wasn't married
I'd pin yer ass up against the wall
and reahgh ghgha rehahgha
ahahrehhrahra
yeahaarhar agghgh baby
aarhagghgarhghag - uhhhhhhnnnnnn
so anyways
show us your tits
you want me to get the butter out
so I can get this ring off?
one of them yelling in the middle of the bar
with his beer on a stool between his legs
his arms raised in victory
and his balls floating below the foam
I'm the fucking king!
Yes!
I'm the grand fucking champion of the world!
which the other two
widely applauded
jack and jester of the finest court
so it was a fucking surprise in the end
when none of them
got punched slapped or kneed in the sack
or arrested or killed
especially at the high point of the night
when one of them was telling the story
about how he was in the health club and
turned suddenly when he was bent over
and nearly smacked his face into some guy's dick
and was telling it to a rather patient
and goodhearted midget woman
who managed a laugh
and was rewarded for her effort
by our good friend
who petted her head
which when one thinks about it
is a fundamentally fucking disgraceful thing to
do
says Enoch
his voice cracking
He pet
not even pat
Can you fucking believe it?
He pet a fucking midget
and of course
I can believe it
cause I've been that drunk
and drunker
and I don't want to ruin Enoch's somehow
saint-like opinion
of the one and only
Reverend M. Tourette
so I don't tell him
bout the time me and old K
polearmed a midget woman in a hunter's cabin
and left her bra and panties on the stuffed elk's
head
where she couldn't get at it
no matter how hard she jumped
up and down on that bed
like a kid on a trampoline
midget tits flapping in the wind
what can I say, Enoch?
jesus
what a bunch of royal fucking cunts
we monkeys are
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