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THIS WEEK : Art for a
Different Species
--------- --------- --------- ---------
0022 ::: The Man in Black
0020 ::: Return of the Gander
0018 ::: When Things Go Strange
0017 ::: LitSLAP Ago-go
0015 ::: Funeralis
0014 ::: Me and JP
0013 ::: And Grappa Fades to Black
0012 ::: Inebriation
0010 ::: Ridgeback
0009 ::: Warback's In Town

WM_0012 ::::::::: Inebriation
May 02, 2003

Difficult to say, at times, what one was thinking when one was drunk and writing. At least it's somewhat concerting. Not a complete fucking idiot.

Of course, when one realizes that the only time one writes is when absolutely shitfaced, that is disconcerting. As disconcerting as realizing that most of one's writing is written when one is not getting fucked, or when one has been absolutely abandoned for one's psychosexual games, rampant intoxicant discourses and insufferable over dramatic self destructive gestures.

But, nothing could be as disconcerting as facing the music before the age of thirty, realizing the void, and thinking, Christ, might as well drink myself the whole way there and be done with it, if only I wouldn't look so fucking goddaawful in the morning which might eventually implicate my ability to get laid. Cause, you know, whether one wants to admit it or not, the thought has crossed my mind.

I knew an old lady who ate it at 61. She was a character. She had cancer, and over the last year they brought the Scotch in by the caseload. Nobody ever used the word alcoholic to describe her, and no one ever said she had a problem, even though she drank hard her entire life. Perhaps because it wasn't a problem. It was just a part of her. And everybody loved her. She loved to drink and talk to her friends and smoke cigarettes by the carton. Like old Findley and Purdy and whoever else that drank hard, smoked hard, fucked hard and did it defiantly without giving a fuck, cause what the fuck else is there?

So I'm not entirely worried, as I ante up the bartender for another refill. Fuck it. Love me like this, or love me not at all. Cheers, love.




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